She couldn't be your mother. No woman ever slept with me and lived. |
9K |
Betrayin's all part of piratin'. If you don't know that you're not even close to being a pirate, 'Prawn of my loins' my foot! What? You're either born a pirate or not! It's in the blood Dan, and it's not in your blood or you'd have betrayed me long ago! |
31K |
When little Dan was two minutes old I tattooed it on his head. Does he know about this? Oh, no no no, that's why I kept him in the cupboard for three years. That may be why he's a bit odd with all these books, and reading, and stuff like that. |
46K |
Bugger off!! |
2K |
What is that? Uh, that's my box sir. No, carrying your box. Oh, oh, Cabinboy Smith sir. Smith has tits! He's been a bit ill sir. Get her off! |
35K |
He's blind you stupid sod! I may be blind, but I have acute 'earing. I'm not interested in your jewelry clotheye! |
24K |
Do you remember just before you were arrested, we were having a cuddle? I was raping you if that's what you mean. |
19K |
I'm in disguise you stupid tart. |
7K |
Everyone will be following you and if they catch you they'll have the map. Bugger them!! I'll eat it first, won't be the first head I've eaten. |
15K |
Bugger off you evil git! |
6K |
A good big one will always beat a rotten little one. |
8K |
You won't catch me dying! You'll have to kill me before I die! |
13K |
Look, if you cut my head off it'll start to putrify. Do what? Putrify, go rotten! Yeah, it would ooze a lot, heads do. But I could live with that. |
23K |
I'll kill anyone that gets in the way of me killing anyone |
8K |
I haven't got fruit in my loins. Lice yes, and proud of 'em |
11K |
No, I haven't raped her. No, you wouldn't have you poncy little git! You're not the prawn of my loins, your mother's a bloody liar! That's what I liked about her |
20K |
The ancient superstition that a woman onboard brings bad luck is now a proven scientific fact. |
17K |
I only drink when I'm working. |
5K |
She's yours, is she then Dan? Let me have a bit of a prod at her first. |
10K |
They broke their solemn word! There's governments for you. |
11K |
Stop that man pissing on the hedge. It's imported!! |
10K |
You made me forget where I was you stupid little sod. |
7K |
I haven't got time for THAT now! |
7K |
You'll never kill anyone if you go around thinking! |
7K |
What's happened to daddy? I killed him! He's gone to heaven. Oh, that's nice. He sent all his friends there. |
16K |
Oh bugger me! You've sodded the whole thing up like the stupid little twerp that you are. |
9K |
Where's the map? What map? If you say you don't know where it is, I'll nail your tits to the table. |
23K |
Hello sugardrawers. What, you again? Again? I haven't seen you for 15 years! |
29K |
With your head on my shoulders we could wreck civilization |
10K |
You burnt my map? But only after I copied it. Where's the copy? When little Dan came along... Who's Dan? My, and probably your, son. |
35K |
The pirate Yellowbeard captured many other galleons, killing over five-hundred men in cold blood. He would tear the captains hearts out and swallow them whole. Often forcing his victims to eat their own lips, he was caught and imprisoned: For tax evasion. |
41K |
If there's one thing I've learned in life it's that learning things never taught me nothing. |
14K |
I'm sure I killed the last one I raped, it can't have been you. Well, the afterplay was a bit on the rough side, but not fatal dear. |
25K |
Wait a minute, somebody did pop in and rape me. These must be his clothes. That's Yellowbeard all right. [sigh} Prison has reformed him, he never bothered to take his clothes off in the old days. |
37K |
It sounded as though there was a bit of a squabble. Squabble? They're all dead! All? Must have been more of a tiff then. |
25K |
It could be very dangerous. Oh, it'll be dangerous, it'll do the boy good to get a bit of senseless violence into his life. |
14K |
Can I have three farthings for a lump of ship please? I beg your pardon? I said, can I have three farthings for a lump of shit. No. [splat] |
21K |
In fairness to all of you, I'm honor-bound to ask this question: Is there anyone here who does not wish to be a member of Her Majesty's Navy? Me sir! [bang - thud] Is there anyone else who is reluctant to serve? Right! |
58K |
You realize your father may be killed? Oh, daddy won't mind, he's a bit odd about things like that. |
13K |
Oh, been out raping lad? Nice work lad. |
9K |
Father, we thought you were dead. Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead. |
14K |