'Nuns on the Run' |
I haven't got a gun you homicidal pillock! |
10K |
In the old days when we nicked something no one got hurt and no one lost anything very much. The insurance companies did. Yeah, well, they're bigger thieves than what we are. |
22K |
What did he die of? He wanted to work for somebody else. Oh, natural causes. |
16K |
Go home! Come with me! Let go of me, I'm trying to commit a major crime. |
14K |
Let me try and summarize this. God is his son and his son is God, but his son moonlights as a Holy Ghost, a Holy Spirit and a dove and they all send each other even though they're all one and the same thing. Got it! |
40K |
It makes no sense to anybody. That's why you have to believe it, that's why you have to have faith. I mean if it made sense it wouldn't have to be a religion, would it? |
18K |
Some con-men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it and no one can prove you don't. |
24K |
Just remember, whenever there's a deep human need there's money to be made. Oh, you think so? Of course, just look at Kentucky Fried Chicken. |
22K |
Is that what you're saying God wanted the church to be, rich? No, but God's very busy. He can't control all the details. He's running a franchise operation. |
23K |
It looks like a bullet wound to me. How did you know? I've seen bullet wounds, I've been a missionary. Where? East L.A. |
19K |
God is like a shamrock. Small, green and split three ways. Class dismissed. |
19K |
What do you mean ugly? You said you were ugly. Yeah, but I didn't expect such wholehearted agreement. |
15K |
So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to Heaven. That's how Christianity works. That's why it suits so many people. |
20K |
It's like Robin Hood you see? We stole from the rich to give to the poor. Who are you going to give that money to? Us, we're poor! |
18K |
I don't know whether I can believe all this. Well, that's your problem sister. From now on it's every nun for himself. |
18K |