Description |
Size |
Colin 'Bomber' Harris has knocked himself out and so he is the winner and he goes on next week to meet himself in the final! |
21K |
Brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum, the world's first ever combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing. |
23K |
I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid! Bloody fascist! |
29K |
That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples! Too many? Well, of course it's too many! |
16K |
That's the problem. What is? The disciples. Are they too Jewish? |
15K |
Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo? What kangaroo? No problem, I'll paint him out. I never saw a kangaroo! Uuh...he's right in the back. I'll paint him out! No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple. |
27K |
Now, a last supper I commissioned from you, and a last supper I want! With twelve disciples and one Christ! One?! Yes one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it? |
43K |
Is this the right room for an argument? |
5K |
If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy,would it? |
8K |
Is your wife a goer,eh, know what I mean,know what I mean,nudge,nudge, say no more. |
14K |
Oh, wicked, wicked, you're wicked, eh? Know what I mean, know what I mean? Nudge nudge? Know what I mean! Nudge nudge, nudge nudge? Say no more!! |
23K |
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, 'I drink therefore I am' |
11K |
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me, I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you,too |
21K |
Have you come to arrange a holiday, or would you like a blow-job? |
10K |
Do you get wafers with it? Of course you don't get F**king wafers with it, it's a f**king albatross |
16K |
Shut your festering gob, you tit.Your type makes me puke you vacuous toffee-nosed malodorous pervert |
17K |
Good evening ladies and Bruces |
5K |
Well sir, I have got a silly walk |
8K |
You can put in the hands of your attorney, but it'll never stand up in court |
9K |
Albatross!!!! |
5K |
Don't give me that you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!! |
10K |
The Entire Bruces Philosophy Song |
127K |
Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum! |
6K |
All right! Now, the reason we do this, ladies and bruces, is frankly over here we find your American beer is a little like making love in a canoe! Making love in a canoe? It's f*cking close to water! |
37K |
Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules. Rule 1: No poofdas!! |
13K |
Rule 2: No member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all...if there's anybody watching |
17K |
Rule 3: No poofdas!! |
6K |
Rule 4: I don't want to catch anybody not drinking |
12K |
Rule 5: No poofdas!! |
6K |
Rule 6: There is NO Rule 6!! |
10K |
Rule 7: No poofdas!! Right, that concludes the reading of the rules Bruce |
11K |
There's a dead bishop on the landing |
6K |
The Church Police!! |
8K |
What fish you got that isn't jugged then? Rabbit. What, rabbit fish? Yes, it's got fins. Is it dead? Well, it was coughing up blood last night |
29K |
Well, that was really horrible! Oh, you're always complaining |
11K |
I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. |
14K |
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day |
15K |
The ENTIRE Lumberjack song (2 minutes and 47 seconds long) |
407K |
What a silly bunt |
4K |
Morning, I'm Bounder of Adventure. Hello, I'm Smoketoomuch. Well, you better cut down a little then. |
14K |
Oh, look, this is futile. No it isn't. Look, I came here for a good argument. No you didn't, no, you came here for an argument! |
13K |
Well, I mean, you're a man of the world squire. Yes. I mean, you've been around a bit, eh? You've, uhhh, you've done it. What do you mean? Well, I mean, I mean like, you've uh, you've slept, with a lady. Yes? What's it like? |
47K |
It's 'Being Hit on the Head' lessons in here. What a stupid concept! |
8K |
Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry tart. Strawberry tart? Well, it's got some rat in it. How much? Three. Rather a lot really. |
23K |
I always wanted to be a lumberjack!!! |
12K |
We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake! |
13K |
When we got home, our Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt! Luxury. |
17K |
44 competitors from 29 different countries, all of them with the most superbly weak bladders. Not a tight sphincter in sight. |
21K |
We'll be bringing you back to this exciting contest the moment anything interesting happens. |
14K |
the 200 meters freestyle for non-swimmers. Watch for the top Australian champion Ron Barnett in the second lane. [Whistle] [Splash] Well, we'll be bringing you back here the moment they start fishing the corpses out. |
42K |
Nevertheless, I advise you to in future to replace the words 'Crunchy Frog' with the legend 'Crunchy, raw, unboned, real, dead frog' if you want to avoid prosecution. |
27K |
After a bit all I could do was bang me gavel. |
7K |
NASA agreed to limit the number of nuclear tests in Granny's little house to two on Thursdays and one on Saturdays after tea. |
22K |
Well, no one leaves this show empty-handed, so we're gonna cut off his hands. |
13K |
The Germans are disputing it! Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an apriori adjunct of non-analytic ethics, Kant by the categoric imperative is holding that ultimologically possessed only in the imagination and Marx is claiming it was off-side! |
30K |
They're a typical Hollywood audience! All the kids are on drugs, and all the adults are on roller skates! |
15K |
The wicked wolf was shot by security guards. [bang bang] |
12K |
It's a fair cop, but society's to blame. Agreed. We'll be charging them too. |
11K |